Flames a-plenty

15 06 2009

In Rachael Ray’s magazine “Everyday” (ugh) she has a section called Messes and Successes where readers send in their kitchen triumphs and bloopers.

kitchen_fire_wideweb__470x373,0I’ve thought about sending this one in, but it’s not entirely food-related, and only a handful of people know the real truth behind the great microwave fire of 2009. Generally what I told people is I was making microwavable rice and forget the water. The truth is, it was uncooked couscous, wrapped in a t-shirt.

But wait. there’s more.

Believe me if this idea would have worked, we could have all been very rich.

A friend of mine was staying over and had a pretty wretched headache. Back in the day of the Spring Hollow, we once kept a premature mouse alive by putting some rice in a clean sock, microwaving it, and placing said mouse on it to emulate the warmth of its mother. Lazarus, as he was named, stayed alive for a whole day. Genius right? The healing powers of the microwave.

So. back to the headache. It seemed that well, why wouldn’t the concept work again. Except this time there was no rice microfireonly couscous, and no clean sock, only a t-shirt. Would have been a good moment to just say maybe this is a bad idea and go and buy some Tylenol. Yet, we soldiered through.

So the couscous goes in the t-shirt, and the t-shirt goes into a microwavable bowl, which goes into the microwave for five minutes (another critical error) A few minutes in though, my apartment filled with black smoke, and the microwave was shooting flames. Chaos ensued.

We ran outside with the flaming plastic bowl and threw it in the snow and unplugged the microwave which had filled my apartment building with smoke. Try explaining the origin of that fire to a landlord. Obviously the microwave was ruined, as was the little cart it stood on, and the bowl with the melted t-shirt. It took days to clear the smoke out of the place.

So if I learned anything from the aforementioned situation, it is the following:

1. unplug your appliance after any electrical. do NOT use water

2. never wrap something uncooked in a t-shirt and microwave it

3. never think you can get rich by making anything in the microwave.

you’re welcome.

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