The big bologna loaf in the sky

10 07 2009

This is a day old, but still tragic. Lunch meat titan Oscar Mayer has died. He has officially driven the weener-mobile on a oneway ticket to the big bologna loaf in the sky. 😦


His passing has stirred up some very real emotions in me, namely that I have been struggling to determine if I like bologna since the age of 12. In grade school, bologna and cheese sandwiches were my bitch. LOVED them. Hard to imagine, but I used to be a very picky eater. Wouldn’t go near spaghetti sauce ( a sin, looking back). Hated seafood and shellfish. Would hide from things unless they were of the meat and cheese consistency. Now, meat and cheese is the be all and end all to me when it comes to food pairings, but I’d like to think my tastes have developed over the years.

After at least 5 years of eating nothing but bologna and cheese sandwiches with chocolate milk, my tasted buds gave a big F You and said nay, nay we will not eat this any more. I then went on a hiatus from lunch meats — not proud of this.  Years later, I’ve been trying to do bologna again. But it continues to be an issue. Do I even like it any more?

First off. What the hell is it? One gourmet food store says its a smoked deli meat made of veal.  Yahoo! Answers alleges that it is a smoked meat made of cured been and pork. The USDA says it is a cooked and smoked sausage, also known as a frankfurter. The actual Oscar Mayer packaging has quite a few extra words on it. So this obviously requires some investigation, which I plan to conduct in a few minutes. But it will have to wait because I am making something called….


Stay tuned….




One response

31 07 2009

I empathize. When I was a kid all summer long it was bologna and ketchup on white bread. For like 2 years. Now I can’t sand bologna. It is absolutely not a smoke deli meat. At least not the bologna we’re talking about. Food Network might be referring to something made of aged pork loin hung in a mesquite wood shack and turned daily by professional little old italian ladies.

The bologna to which you and I are exposed to is most likely something made of spare pig parts. Or as my mother would say “Lips and assholes”.

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